Emails from Wayward Friends

Sadly, I recently lost a friend to Victoria, BC. Seems she just couldn't hack the Alberta weather. Of course, if I had the choice of living in Calgary or a rat infested walk-up with drug users living on my door step, but in convenient walking distance to the ocean I would move too.

And while I wish her all the best, the fact is, I just can't like her as much as I used to. There is a rule in my life, it is not a big rule, but it is one I like to stick to. If you live closer to the ocean than me I will be force to talk to you endlessly about Star Trek and my bizarre love of popping zits. I am sorry, it is just the way it has to be.

However, since I have not heard from said friend since she moved I started to worry that she may have given away my spot on her couch for May Long Weekend. Probably, to some hairy granola who calls everyone dude. Image getting thrown over for a dread locked habitual marijuana user! No, I just couldn't let that happen. I am willing to fight for that couch and no lay about it going to take it from me. So I emailed her.

After quieting my fears about who her FAVORITE guest of all time would be, she told me some news. She and her boyfriend had broken up. He couldn't leave Calgary and she decided she couldn't date someone who really should wear a collar and be walked regularly. So after lamenting a bit she wrote,

On the other hand, my main gay reminded me of one saving grace. One reason to be happy about being single in Victoria. One shining beacon in an otherwise lonely, solitary existence: The Canadian Navy. While I'm not ready for dating yet (who ever is??), it's comforting to know there are thousands of men in uniform on my doorstep, protecting us all from…whatever it is the Canadian Navy protects us from. So brave, so hot.

Ahh, I couldn't have said it any better. So brave, so hot. Canadian Navy, I salute you!